A Word About Breastfeeding...

If you don't want to read about my boobs or breastfeeding I suggest you skip this post...I'm compelled to write it to give a head's up to my friends who are due to give birth soon.

Breastfeeding is HARD!! It is more than hard...it is probably the hardest thing I have done in my life thus far. I want to share my experience so other new mothers will know what to expect.

I attended a breastfeeding class while pregnant. I read all the literature about breastfeeding. I made a decision that I would breastfeed exclusively without formula or bottles for at least 4 weeks. After 4 weeks, I will introduce bottles with pumped breast milk and breastfeed or feed with pumped milk until Preston is 6 months old. At 6 months, we will introduce solid foods to mix with breastfeeding until 1 year. This is my plan. It was my biggest worry and stressor while pregnant that I wouldn't be able to fulfill this plan.

Never in a million years did I expect it to be this difficult. Ugh!

All the medical professionals that I have come in contact with since P's delivery have tried to push formula on me. Let me say that formula feeding definitely has its advantages and at times is the only option...but for me breastfeeding is the best choice and one that I will stick with unless there are circumstances outside my control that keep me breastfeeding. I made it very clear to everyone who would handle my baby in the hospital that I wanted NO FORMULA, NO BOTTLES, and NO PACIFIERS. If you will be breastfeeding exclusively I suggest that you request the same to keep nipple confusion to a minimum in those first few days. Well, P was a very sleepy baby right out of the gate. Maybe it was the epidural or maybe he was just sleepy. But whatever it was he didn't want to eat and that worried everyone. He didn't latch on after birth like is recommended. I then tried to get him to latch on and eat for the next 12 hours and all he wanted was to sleep. I trusted my instincts and assumed that he would wake up and eat when he was hungry. The staff threatened me that if he didn't eat they would feed him formula so I kept him in my room all night the first night to make sure that no bottle or formula was given to him. First thing in the morning I met with the Lactation Consultant and she was WONDERFUL!!! After a few minutes she got Preston latched on and he fed for 20 minutes on each breast. It was the most wonderful and fulfilling moment as a Mom knowing that I could provide nutrition for my newborn son.

P continued to nurse throughout our stay in the hospital even though he was still very sleepy and we often had to wake him to eat but he seemed to be getting the nutrition that he needed. At first, you are feeding your baby colostrum until your milk comes in around day 3 or 4 post delivery. On Saturday, we took P home (thankfully)!! I continued to nurse him every 2-3 hours and anxiously waited for my milk to come in. Preston was now 3 days old and he was getting really hungry....and fussy!! So, our first night home was pretty miserable for everyone involved. P was hungry and I didn't have any milk to feed him...only the little bit of colostrum that your body produces in the first few days. Luckily, I woke up on Sunday with my breasts much fuller...my milk had come in...YAY!!! P would finally get a full belly...I was soooo relieved.

On Monday, we had a weight check with the pediatrician. Most docs of breastfed babies will do a weight check a few days after you leave the hospital to make sure breastfeeding is working and baby is gaining weight. Well, P had lost more weight since we left the hospital...not an alarming amount but it raised a red flag to our pediatrician. He then told me that he wanted us to supplement with formula for the week to get his weight back up. Again, I told him that I didn't want to use formula to which he was fine with. BUT, he wanted me to pump and give P a bottle of breast milk every day for an extra feeding to supplement. Well, I wasn't ready to introduce the bottle during his first week either. So, I trusted my instincts and decided that I wouldn't follow the Dr.'s advice and give P a bottle or formula. As long as P was producing enough poopy and pee diapers then he was getting enough milk and no supplementing was needed. By Friday we had to do another weight check and he had gained lots of his lost weight back and his pediatrician was pleased. By his 2 week appointment he was 5 oz. above his birth weight which is a HUGE accomplishment for a breastfed baby.

So, essentially what I'm trying to say above is that breastfeeding is emotionally draining. I didn't really feel like I had much support out of the gate (from the medical community). Everyone will agree that breastfeeding is the BEST option but when it really comes down to it they don't waste any time compromising your efforts to breastfeed by throwing formula, bottles, and pacifiers in your face. My advice is to stand your ground and trust your instincts. You are the mother and as long as your child is satisfied then you will always be doing the right thing for him/her.

Perhaps the most difficult part of breastfeeding is the pain. Yes, it is painful. Some days, I would rather go through childbirth again than to breastfeed all day. The first two weeks were the worst. They tell you that you will experience sore nipples only if your baby doesn't have a proper latch. I'm here to tell you that is total BS. P and I still work on getting a good latch at each session but eventually we get there. And SORE nipples doesn't really cover it. Try cracked, bleeding, excruciatingly painful nipples. So sore that you can't even wear a towel out of the shower. So sore that sleeping is painful. It hurts. Be prepared for the pain. Have a painkiller handy for those days. And keep in mind that they hurt when left alone...when it's time for a feeding it hurts even worse but for the sake of your child you must suffer through it. Use lots of Lanolin and keep it in the back of your mind that it gets better. I'm still waiting (hoping and dreaming) for it to get better....it has gotten a bit better...no more bleeding or cracks but there is still pain.

Let me also mention that by breastfeeding you turn your body and your schedule over to your baby. Your baby will eat every 2-3 hours if you are lucky. Preston has times where he wants to eat every hour which is both physically and emotionally draining. There will be days where all you will do is feed, change diapers, take a quick nap, feed, change diapers, etc. It feels like groundhog day after a while. And you can kiss sleep goodbye. I am up at the mininum every 2 hours with him. He has on few occassions slept longer but rarely has this happened yet. Remember that you are the only one who can feed until the bottle is introduced so it is all you. Getting out of the house is another issue...you can leave but only for 2 hours at a time. I have made a few shopping trips and gym visits but other than that we are homebound for the time being. But, if you are like me you will be fine with that. I'm loving the time at home with P so I haven't really missed the outside world much.

In a nutshell, breastfeeding is tough. Preston will be 4 weeks old in two days and he is thriving and growing. I'm persevering through the pain and for that I am proud. And there is no greater joy then watching my boy collapse in my arms after a feeding with a full belly...milk mustache and all. :)