Back To Work....

It's official...my maternity leave is OVER. It's bittersweet. I have always been on the cusp of wanting to be a stay at home mom. I dream of spending days snuggling with my little one, going on day trips, shopping, playdates, cleaning the house, having dinner ready for the hubs, all while keeping my sanity and not losing myself in the process. Well....I learned in 3 months home that those dreams of mine are NOT the reality of a stay at home mom. It's more like crying, feed, poop, snuggle, spit-up, nap, more poop, feed again, leaky diaper, forgot to feed myself, oops laundry is piling up, dog needs to go out, crap...hubs is home already, where in the world has the day gone!!! Ha! Being a mommy is HARD!

I've learned that the life of a stay at home mom might be far different than the pretty picture I had painted in my head. I get cabin fever...bad, I don't really like to clean and Chuck does most of the cooking because he is a much better cook than me and he enjoys it (yes, lucky me). Not to mention that without my paycheck and benefits we would have less money for me to shop and go on those "day trips" I longingly dreamt of. So...no staying at home for me...off to work I go.

But, this working mom thing isn't so bad. Granted, it's only been three days but I'm loving the balance of being a mom and employee. Plus, it's easy to go back to work when you have a great job with wonderful people to share your days with. I was mostly worried about getting out of the door in the morning and how breastfeeding would coincide with work. I'm proud to say that it's all coming together nicely!! Thanks to Chuck I manage to get out the door and to the office by 7. I'm pumping at work and going home every day for lunch to nurse and snuggle with P.

As women, we want to do it all. I know there will be bumps in the road and times where I feel like I can't but for now I'm relieved and convinced that I can do this. And, I feel more like myself than I have in the last 3 months. I think working might make mothering easier and more enjoyable for me...so for now I'm letting go of the dreams and sticking with what works. Back to work I go!